It's the deal of a lifetime - times two - literally! If you've got a dead wife, dead child, dead inbred relative with a need for impregnating daughters of their former wife, then have we got the GROUPON for you:
BUY ONE RELATIVE BACK FROM THE DEAD,
GET ONE RELATIVE BACK FROM THE DEAD FREE!
Plus! Buy this GROUPON and get three month's free of CRICHTON-CLARK Security: Includes key cards (that may or may not work), doors that open and close on their own, and blue and red lightbulbs to blink on and off for your entire home!
Hurry! This blowout (get it??) sale won't last long!
BUY ONE RELATIVE BACK FROM THE DEAD,
GET ONE RELATIVE BACK FROM THE DEAD FREE!
Plus! Buy this GROUPON and get three month's free of CRICHTON-CLARK Security: Includes key cards (that may or may not work), doors that open and close on their own, and blue and red lightbulbs to blink on and off for your entire home!
Hurry! This blowout (get it??) sale won't last long!